December 2009
25 posts
fmylife:
Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. “Wake up! We got a new puppy!” he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said “No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed.” FML
Then we kissed. A simple kiss.
And she said, “After work. Tomorrow. Let’s go for some waffles.”
I smiled.
fmylife:
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, “If I hadn’t just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters.” FML
“Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite...”
– Stephen Wright (via mnmal)
clientsfromhell:
“After spending some time with a potential client interested in web design work, I finally asked him about his budget for the project. His response was, “Oh, actually I won’t be paying you. I thought you wouldn’t mind working for the networking opportunities.”
How can he refuse?
fmylife:
Today, my girlfriend and I went to go look for a baby crib. She told me she wanted a blue one because the baby was a boy. I asked her how she knew that the baby was a boy. She said, “Because the test was blue.” Blue means she’s not pregnant. I spent two weeks freaking out over nothing. FML
November 2009
65 posts
“Living well is the best revenge, but a sledgehammer to the face works too.”
– (via sharingtime)
fmylife:
Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, “Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!” To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML