Today, my girlfriend and I went to go look for a baby crib. She told me she wanted a blue one because the baby was a boy. I asked her how she knew that the baby was a boy. She said, “Because the test was blue.” Blue means she’s not pregnant. I spent two weeks freaking out over nothing. FML
Photo Set of the Day: Several big-name actors recreate iconic scenes from their cinematic past — Mel Gibson (Braveheart); Lawrence Fishburne (The Matrix); Christian Bale (American Psycho); Kevin Spacey (Se7en); Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator) — for Empire Magazine’s 20th anniversary issue.
See the complete set here.
Living well is the best revenge, but a sledgehammer to the face works too.
— (via sharingtime)
Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, “Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!” To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
